A Lover's Love Letter To Love

"As i got older , Crush and I had an understanding and she said , “learn from me , because in me you will learn about yourself , so that when you meet love , you won’t waste it"
My Valentines Day Outfit

My Valentines Day Outfit

Dear Love . 
It’s hard to put into words exactly how I feel about you . When I first thought I had met you , it wasn’t actually you but your little sister , Crush . She was young , beautiful , but pretty cruel . I actually ran into her a couple of times over the years mistaking her for you . I mean you’re related so please understand my confusion . As I got older , Crush and I had an understanding and she said , “learn from me , because in me you will learn about yourself , so that when you meet love , you won’t waste it .” She was oddly cool about me looking to date her sister . 
I waited quite some time for you , but before I had the chance I ran into someone that I could of swore was you but wasn’t .  One drunken night , I bumped into Infatuation . Now she was an experience . I can’t tell if it was the alcohol or her but either way I felt intoxicated and filled so much with inhibition that I just threw myself into her thinking that this must be you . All the love songs and poetry and romantic comedy’s say so , I was so sure . But after a couple of weeks , when I sobered up , infatuation just disappeared on me . I woke up and she she was just gone , no note , no messages . Gone .  Out of my window and into the winds . 
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I ran into infatuation a couple of times after that but even as I’ve come to recognized her particular brand of inebriation , I still took the drink .  Although not great for the morning after , it helped me through the nights and the judgement of Facebook relationship status’s .

I thought this was going to be my life . I thought maybe I had met Love and that I wasn’t a match for her . I mean , compatibility is a tricky thing . So I figured maybe I wasn’t meant to meet Love , and I would partner better with Freedom . she’s particularly seductive and romantic , I’ve fallen for freedom many a times . Maybe she’s the gal for me . That’s a respectable thing to believe . Freedom is no second prize . Wars have been fought and people have been killed in her honor . I would tell people this story boldly until of course I met love . Finally . It wasn’t easy to recognize at first , I thought maybe she was just Crush having a lonely night and wanted company , or maybe it was Infatuation , she comes and goes as she pleases you know , I never could tell . 

But something about this was different . she lingered . She touched longingly and slowly , not in a rush or expecting . it felt exciting yet strangely … easy . She took my breath away , not metaphorically , but literally I stopped breathing for a bit because she caught the attention of my entire being and my body just forgot that I needed oxygen for a second . It got distracting . I lost time talking to her because she didn’t care about time or place . she made the super market strangely fun . She was Love

But then I lost Love . I messed up . I had met Love and I thought that this was it , I was done , I have reached the finish line in life because who else was there to meet after I’ve met Love ?  I thought I could never confused infatuation or Crush for Love because I’d seen the real thing , I knew it was different . I thought that when you met Love , all that was left was walking into the sunset . I know there are sad songs about losing Love but that wasn’t gonna be me . They were confusing Love with someone else , I had the real thing . 

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She didn’t leave me suddenly , but slowly , first she packed away small things . Then she would slowly decline my invitations and advances , always politely but definitely . I saw less and less of her . I was foolish and just thought , maybe she’s just busy , you know ? Just preoccupied . She was Love and she would never leave me . I was wrong . Soon there were packed boxes and suitcases at the door and there was a note , it said "You don't understand yet"

What didn't I understand ? Wasn't Love all there is ? All you need is Love . I went through rounds and more meeting ups with Crush and Infatuation and had a long standing relationship with Freedom . But soon , Loneliness visited . She sat with me for quite some time . Night after night . It took a long time . It took a lot of looking for Love again to see it . 

I lost Love . I lost Love because I hadn’t recognize her other half her twin . Work . I met Love and I stopped trying . I was satisfied . Everyone had told me that when I found Love , it would be over . the rest of it would be history . All the movies end when Love is found , they rarely talk about her neglected other half . Work . Work gets a bad rep which is probably why no one talks about her . I knew of her but didn’t know that her and Love were related . It seems that in order for Love to be happy , Work needs some attention as well . And for being twins , they seem nothing alike . In fact , one would hardly know that they were twins unless you asked them . You see , love is easy and beautiful but Convenience isn’t someone that Love meets half way . Neither does Trust . You thought Convenience was hard to cross paths with , try to get Trust over to your house everyday . And who goes out to build a bridge with Convenience ? Who goes out to make a relationship with Trust ? Who goes out to make sure that Love has everything she needs to survive when Convenience and Trust doesn’t come around ? Work does . She's important . She stays in the shadows so that Love can be easy and beautiful ,  and Love can star in your favorite films and Love can have songs written in her honor . But Work is the one that makes this possible , Don't neglect her . 

I’ve learned my lesson . I’m gonna get real acquainted with Work . Love is hard to find but you can find work around every corner . We’re going to become bloody best freakin friends . So that next time I meet Love , she’ll see it , she’ll know , she’ll recognize that she’s met someone who knows her worth , who is willing to put in the time with Work to hold on to her . 

I miss you , I need you , and when I find you , I’m never letting you go 

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Jacket - The Fifth Label

Shirt - Rag & Bone

Hat - Yellow 108

Sunglasses - RayBan

Bag - Hex

Photographer - Heyyeh