A VINTAGE MOD INSPIRED SHOOT AND THE CRUSHING WEIGHT OF HUMANITY

| photography

"even in the 1820s , nice guys were saying they always finish last ."

The sheer size of humanity crushes me . It’s like when I fly across the country and I look down at the city below me . So many people living next to each other on top of each other , their lives interweaving with each other . I will never know any of those lives , the paths that’s been taken , the circumstance or experience . 

Think about how many people in even just your neighborhood . You can never fully understand their pain and struggles or joy and triumphs . You can live next door to them or down the street your entire life but live completely different lives . Or small differences in your daily decision or environments can lead you and your neighbors down vastly different roads . There is so much choice and so much in this life and it’s impossible to experience it all . the enormity of that fact is astounding. 

It makes me sad , and oddly nostalgic about a life I will never lead . Maybe thats why I love books and movies and art in general . Maybe that’s why a lot of people like them . It’s the closest thing we can get in experiencing another life . Another narrative . Another perspective that we’re not able to gain with our own limited view of the world . We are so small that we have to tap into each other to see more , o be able to feel and experience more . 

When the internet came into popularity in the late 90’s , bringing humanity closer was a huge selling point . it brought the world together . it made it small . it made it reachable . Now I can know a neighbor in London about as well as my actual neighbor . There is more information and more knowledge , but for me , it lead more to questions and piles more possibilities . 

This is just to talk about my own particular life time . But if you start going down the path of history . Good luck . I have these day dreams about what if i lived in a different era as myself or different people , what could my life have been ? And then you take a bigger step back and looking at the scope of the human experience . I haven’t found the words to describe how extremely insignificant yet monumentally important everything is and the totality of that idea weighs me down as if I’m drowning and can’t get any air . 

I wonder if even though the situational experience may vary , the human emotional range can only span so much . so that even though i was born into this era , the trials and tribulations of life applies universally across time . for example , even in the 1820s , nice guys were saying they always finish last . That takes a little bit of weight off the shoulder . 

This isn’t even tackling the galactically mammoth task of making sense of the world . which is a whole other beautiful headache .

Photographer - Ryan Feng

Model - Sarah Mccreanor

Stylist - Melynda Choothesa

Hair/Mua - Yukina Mitsuhashi