Currently when I am searching on how to lift your spirits when you’re having not such a great day, this is sort of what is out there:
1. Put on a smile, even a fake one, will turn your day around
2. Think about the things you are grateful for and it will put you in a better frame of mind
3. Express yourself through journaling to get it out
4. Find small moments to enjoy
5. Do a light workout and get those endorphins going
*there are tons of these and I’m sure i’m missing a bunch. These are just the ones I’ve been told or have heard or have (constantly) seen around me through media/internet.
I have done all of these things to the following effect:
1. Put on a smile .. okay.. i’m smiling… i’m smiling.. this is weird and i look like a serial killer with my smile and dead eyes.. people are starting to freak out. okay stop smiling
2. Okay, I’m gonna write down things I’m grateful for because I’m pretty sure Oprah said something about this and Oprah’s word is gospel. Feels pretty good… An hour later. ugh, feeling is gone, do I have to write again? Am I going to have to be writing this damn list every hour? for the rest of my life?
3. See above.
4. Okay, so far, the small moments of joy have pretty much well entangled themselves with vices which is part of the reason why I along with other people have gotten themselves to this place. Maybe I have to search for smaller moments, literally stop to smell the roses. But I live in LA, so you have to drive through traffic and parking to get to a florist to small freakin roses. Who has time for this?
5. Okay, not gonna lie, this actually works. Now I just gotta shorten the hour long pep talk I have to get myself to go move around for 10 mins.
So although not a complete fail, these tips aren’t really doing the trick for me. It took sometime to get to this point but what doesn’t get talk about or what doesn’t get advised (that I can see) is sometimes you just going to have to be okay with having a bad day. And I mean really lean into it and marinate in all the sad feelings you’re having. Most of life isn’t exceptionally amazing and happy because otherwise there wouldn’t be anything exceptional about it. Most of life is probably mundane and possibly a little disappointing. The happiness is the five minute highlight reel to two hour NBA game. Two hours of handwork, and sweat, and going through the motions to get five minutes of highlight.
On a positive perspective, leaning into the cloudy days has helped me recognize the happy moments when it comes and also has helped me enjoy it more, even in the smallest victories. Although it still takes me an hour to pep myself into a mental readiness position to do planks.
***Side Bar - I am not a mental health expert and the mental state I’m describing above isn’t speaking to actual mental illness, depression, or anxiety. For those inflicted, professional help is needed and advised. And if you are my friend, and are going through a tough time, please feel free to reach out to me, I’m here for you bud.